tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6324218380599969092009-03-01T03:33:55.322-08:00Auburn Popped!Randy Auburnnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-632421838059996909.post-54228553071229447702008-02-04T19:36:00.000-08:002008-02-04T19:39:01.625-08:00Oldies Tricks<object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GuMMfgWhm3g&rel=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GuMMfgWhm3g&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LQvkNDnwLvU&rel=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LQvkNDnwLvU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/632421838059996909-5422855307122944770?l=auburnpopped.blogspot.com'/></div>Randy Auburnnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-632421838059996909.post-82907938625622202872008-02-04T19:31:00.000-08:002008-02-04T19:36:41.292-08:00911 Calls For Real<p class="nsl1" align="center">Real 911 calls</p> <p class="txt1" align="left"> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency? </span><br /> Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.<br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: Do you have an address? </span><br /> Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? </p> <hr noshade="noshade" style="font-size:78%;"> <p class="txt1" align="left"><span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: 911 What is your emergency? </span><br /> Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.<br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: Excuse me? </span><br /> Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.<br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: Was anything else taken? </span><br /> Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!</p> <hr noshade="noshade" style="font-size:78%;"> <p><span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: 911 </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out. </span><br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from? </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. </span><br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic? </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: No </span><br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing? </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: Running from the Police. </span></p> <hr noshade="noshade" style="font-size:78%;"> <p><span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: 911 What is the nature of your emergency? </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it. </span><br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: This is nine eleven. </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one </span><br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing. </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.</span></p> <div align="center"> <script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "pub-9262571517755998"; google_ad_width = 468; google_ad_height = 60; google_ad_format = "468x60_as"; google_ad_type = "image"; //2007-08-30: Funny Stories google_ad_channel = "6793441623"; google_color_border = "99CCEE"; google_color_bg = "FFFFBB"; google_color_link = "000099"; google_color_text = "000000"; google_color_url = "008000"; //--> </script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script><iframe name="google_ads_frame" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/ads?client=ca-pub-9262571517755998&dt=1202182459046&lmt=1202182458&prev_fmts=160x90_0ads_al_s%2C160x600_as&format=468x60_as&output=html&correlator=1202182458921&channel=6793441623&pv_ch=6793441623%2B&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.onlyfunnystories.com%2FReal911calls.asp&color_bg=FFFFBB&color_text=000000&color_link=000099&color_url=008000&color_border=99CCEE&ad_type=image&ref=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.onlyfunnystories.com%2F&cc=57&ga_vid=642439970.1202182451&ga_sid=1202182451&ga_hid=809134667&ga_fc=true&flash=9&u_h=768&u_w=1024&u_ah=738&u_aw=1024&u_cd=32&u_tz=420&u_his=3&u_java=true&u_nplug=23&u_nmime=105" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" vspace="0" hspace="0" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="60" scrolling="no" width="468"></iframe> </div> <p><span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: 911 What's the nature of your emergency? </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart </span><br /> <span class="txt1b">Dispatcher: Is this her first child? </span><br /> <span class="txt1">Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!</span></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/632421838059996909-8290793862562220287?l=auburnpopped.blogspot.com'/></div>Randy Auburnnoreply@blogger.com0